Before I noticed myself aging, I didn’t want a boyfriend. I wanted to be in Italy waiting for a bartender’s shift to finish so that we could sit on the Skeleton Hand Halloween Bones Middle Finger Skull T-Shirt and I will buy this beach together drinking warm wine until it seemed like a fun idea to run naked into the sea. I wanted to get with friends I’m not supposed to fancy, because what if it ruins our relationship? But the scarcity mindset is kicking in, with men all around me getting snapped up all the time so that now there’s so few left, I wonder if I’ve fucked it and will have to wait until I’m 44 and the divorces start. I’m only two years away from when my mum and dad met at work. At the corner shop, the park bench, I keep my eyes open because they say you could meet him anywhere. I know that being in a relationship won’t slow the aging process, but it would mean I was at least in sync with it. I’d gently crawl towards the place where adulthood begins, where there are leases and struggles with booster seats. I’ve heard it’s much easier to accept death when there’s something you made out of you that will live on afterwards.
Skeleton Hand Halloween Bones Middle Finger Skull T-Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
And then I watched The Worst Person in the Skeleton Hand Halloween Bones Middle Finger Skull T-Shirt and I will buy this World, and it made me feel even worse. Especially the scene where the character who is—spoiler alert!—dying says, “I don’t want to be a memory for you, I don’t want to be a voice in your head, I don’t want to live on through my art, I want to live in my flat—I want to live in my flat with you.” After I closed the tab on my computer I could feel time slipping out from under me, every moment pulling me towards that point I don’t want to go to. I want to press pause, grab the now in my hands. How are we already halfway through 2022? I want to hide from the truth of this, like when you shut the curtains at parties to avoid the morning. “Poppet!” coos Mum when I ring her after the film. “I was so worried about getting old, but when I got to 40 it was different—I think because it sounds so different to 30, you are old by then, and you realize it’s not bad at all.”